Tania Kettle

Caps hip is definitely dislocating itself all the time.  

I went into the paddock again this arvo and Hello! it's out again and he was doing this weird limping thing.  I put the anti-flam on again as I did a Miri Miri, gave him a feed and then just sat watching him for a while.  It's not worth calling the Vet because I can put it back myself but I do wish he would stop putting it out.  I'll see if there are any other options apart from an op which I won't give him and no, not because of money because he is insured but because I don't want to put him through an op.

Now before you go a bit weird on me here let me just say that I know my body, I know my families body and I know my horses.  

I also have the scars to prove it.  

If you look at my left forearm you will see a scar that runs three inches long.  This is where I have a bone transplant because a Dr had said that I had broken my wrist when I had actually shattered the bone into over 50 pieces.  I also have the matching scar on my right hip where they ended up taking the bone from.  That's just one story, I have others.  Now, I only trust myself and what I know.  There will be NO Dr's or Vets unless I have completely f*ked up.  Which I haven't.  Nor am I planning to.  And yes there was a good story involving my ex husband, rum, trainer wheels, stairs, a rubber floor and one pool table.  Don't.  Just don't. 

But enough of that, Caps seems happy enough though and loves his Miri Miri with anti-flam.  

****

Ok, Caps is definitely not 100%.  More anti-flam, another Miri Miri and I swear, hand on heart, he sighs when I put it on.  

But when I think about it, the neighbours horse up the road has Staggers.  Apparently, because we've had such a wet Summer there is a micro toxin in the grass which is giving the horses Staggers.  It could be that but none of my other horses are having symptoms and seriously, the only cure is taking them off grass and putting them on hay anyway so that's not particularly helpful.  Let's see how he is tomorrow but I really am going to have to get better at seeing the Energy change before it becomes an issue like this.  I still believe he is dislocating because I can feel it.

He still seems happy though.  Still bossing the herd - he stands there, not moving his body but wiggling his ears frantically back and forward like an old Italian Mama - and Missy is always right next to him.  I would say, fussing but that's not right.  More hanging round to make sure that he is ok.  

****

One rat down, one to go.  

Went into shed to hook up float so Erin and I could go pick up one of her horses and Hello! there's one Mother ass huge rat.  I thought at first it was a cat that had moved in and was having a nap on my hay but NO, however it was dead. Did a little scream and refused to go into barn until Erin had somehow got rid of it.  Thank Spirit she really, really needed to go pick up her horse otherwise it might still be there.  No photo because I didn't think of taking one until later.  

Caps is 90% better.

Apparently it is his stifle (?) falling out all the time.

The little one has a jacket on now.  Mostly because Chew kept coming up and biting me on the ass letting me know that he wasn't happy.

Got to run, races tonight and already I'm late.

**** 

An excellent night.  Lots of laughter, good company and a Full Moon - which means magic.  In some respects a lot and yet nothing, if you know what I mean.  Nothing you can point your finger at and go, Here's where everything changed.  But that's not true, there was, it has and I could breathe.  And knew I could talk, or not talk or talk eventually and it would still be ok.  

So, I had a super cool night.  Although I do have to say that I was trying very (super very) hard not to manipulate the wonderful Full Moon Energy and instead was trying to just sit in the magic and play.  Because Energy like this always slightly unhinges me.  It makes me want to touch colours and taste emotions.  To call, tempt, tease, reach out and intertwine.    

To play.

Right now.  

At this exact minute. 

Hark at me, eh?  Bloody Full Moon.

But this Energy is powerful...unsettling and kind of courageous.  Like a chaotic brave.  All of a sudden everything is enough and then you're dancing and gliding, riding and flying.

Anyhou, moving right along, I have every intention of utilizing this Energy and spending the next couple of days with my horses.  To use this rawness and make something beautiful.

****

Well I sort of did and mostly didn't.  We have pretty much hung out and just worked round the property.  Not worked the horses as such but rather been together.  It hasn't always been soul peaceful though because Caps keeps doing a mad 10 minutes which means that he starts galloping up and down the paddocks.  Normally while I'm in them which leaves me less than impressed.  But he knows what he's doing because I shut the gate behind him and then he's all, I'm sorry...

Bloody TB.

Sequoia's really been tuned in though.  Learning how to communicate with me so not only does she hear me but I hear her.  And answer.  So, she's finding her hooves.  And that's worked.  

But it has also been good in an odd way.  Spirit are freely letting me see peoples books and I'm starting not to freak out about it as much.  I'm seeing and accepting which is better than what I was doing a couple of weeks ago which was seeing and freaking out.

Still kind of makes me sad sometimes but also not if you know what I mean.  These are not my choices.  But I'm seriously keeping my boundaries strong because as I'm getting a whole heap more than I'm used to I also have to process more.  I'm still trying to work through this but when the magic hits, it hits.  And for that I will take the odd bit of sadness.

So, it has been a Spiritual time but not in the way I'm used to.  

I'm excited about the next stage of our journey.

Much love my friends and of course, my humans.

Caps, me, Spirit, Sequoia, Ralph, Chew and Az, Melvin and Cookie.

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