Tania Kettle

What I love about having young friends - in the 16 to 26 age group - is that they keep my ideas fresh and innovative, but more than that, they challenge my beliefs.

And it goes like this:

There were three of us, 2 guys in their mind twenties and me.

Guy 1 - Do you pay half on a date?

Me: Nope.  Well, not voluntarily.  I mean if it is a coffee meet-and-greet then I do.  Or I could.  Actually, I mean if I'm standing at the counter and he hasn't offered.  But really, no.

Guy 1 - Really?  You expect a guy to pay? Don't you think that's well, a bit entitled?

Me: Nope.  What I think is entitled is a guy thinking that I would go out for coffee with him and then pay for myself.  What?  Am I dating myself?  It's a date.  Jeez.

Guy 1 - What happens on the second date?  Who pays?

Me: Ok, you're not going to like this answer.  Unless I earn like squillions of dollars more than him,  I expect him to pay.  If he earns less, I guess I could pay half.

Guy 1 - Wait...you will only pay half if he earns less than you?

Me: Yip.

Guy 1 - What about a romantic night out?

Me: What about it?  Wait...you want me to dress up, wear nice clothes, great makeup, nails, hair etc done AND you also want me to pay half of dinner?  Are you serious?

Guy 1 - Are you?  I've given you a nice compliment and told you that you look great, that should be enough.  Anyway, where's my respect?  What are you bringing to the table?

Me:  There is no way on Gods green earth that I am getting all done up for a romantic dinner then paying half, then happily going home to have a shag with you.  That's ridiculous.  That's not romance, that's taking what you haven't earnt.  I'm not a dog, you don't throw me a compliment like a treat, and expect that it's all happy ever after.  And before you start, romance isn't about money, it's about time and effort.  And tellling me that I look pretty, is going to get you exactly one half of nothing.  

And I'm respecting you by dating you...and looking good while I'm doing it.

To be fair though, you know exactly what I'm bringing to the table, because you want to date me.  

Guy number 1 - I wouldn't date you.

Guy number 2 - I told you she was impossible.

The conversation took a different turn, and we started talking about Women's Lib and stuff, but you know, it's really interesting talking to guys vs girls, because the conversations are just so different. 

Because I then had almost the exact conversation a couple of days later with a young girl, and it went like this:

Me: Do you pay on a date?

Girl - I can.  It's no big deal, but I like a guy to offer.  I'm independent and can pay, but I want to know the difference between a boy friend and a boy-friend.  Have you seen what those girls are doing in America, it's ground breaking...

Wishing you much love and abundance and a truly courageous heart.

T and Spirit

xx