Tania Kettle

Silence.

More Silence.

And that was from the young one, after our original conversation (when I was trying to explain Riding the Energy) when I asked him what body type would he like me to start with: Thin, medium or fat?

Medum.

Ok, I'll start with thin.

Wait....what kind of thin?

Yip, that's the way conversations go in our home.

But anyway, back to that question.

If I am masculine, then what qualities do I have that you can't, because you're feminine?

Is it as simple as, I have a penis and you have a vagina?

What about leadership vs dominance?

I mean, you need to remember that the young one has never known me not to be in business, working for myself.  He thinks that it's normal, because he's never known anything else.  Or he used to, he knows differently now.

Does that fit into the sterotypical role of being feminine?

No. 

But does that mean that you are masculine?

No!

Why not?

And so our conversation went.  

Then we had that old warthog of: 

Real men don't cry.  

But some men do, so does that make them "not real men"?  

Now before I go any further, I have to say here that this particular topic annoys me.  I mean, don't get me wrong, men have the option to cry.  

But should they?

Well, and already I can see the young one going, OMG did she just say that? but honestly, I prefer mine not to.  I prefer any man I'm dating, not to cry on the couch, watching a sad movie.  Or if he's had a bad day or if someone has been mean to him.

You as a man, have that right, like I do as a woman, but to be fair, I don't so would prefer the same from you.

But seriously, and I think the young one's actually having heart palpatations as I'm writing this, but if I wanted to be with someone who was that emotional, I would date a chick.  

Wait...the young one wouldn't be upset about the chick part, rather that I'm so judgemental.

Back to the question though, Is a man that cries feminine?  Does this signify that he is emotionally, intimately and physically weak or is it that he is just in touch with his emotions?

But a more interesting question is, Why do I associate crying with women, fragility and weakness?

And secondly, Where does my personal Emotional IQ sit, if I don't cry myself?

Is it firmly on the Masculine side of the scale, or do we need to look at my emotional programming and early childhood learnt behaviour, of what's ok and not?

Whew!  That's pretty intense.

But now we've talked about it: 

Where do you personally draw the line between masculine and feminine?

What linear boundaries do you have around these two words?  

Well, I've thought about it a lot since the young one and I spoke, and for me it comes down to this:

Masculine and Feminine to me are like hot and cold, night and day, sun and moon, Yin and Yang.  It is the fitting of two opposites together.  One can live successfully by itself, but they are better together.  The two, co-joined with their strengths and weaknesses, become a whole. And I look at it not as in male or female, masculine or feminine in the physicality of it, but the soul.

Two pieces of a jigsaw fitting together perfectly.

The actual definition of what makes someone Masculine or Feminine though, well...that's still a work in progress.

Wishing you much love and abundance and a truly courageous heart.

T and Spirit

xx