30 Sec's on....
So I've had a couple of interesting conversations this week, all of them about kids.
Now this is not an unusual conversation in our home.
We talk a lot of nature vs nurture.
And I still stand of the side of genes play a part, but how you raise children separates the girls from the women. But the longer I live, the more adament I become of, you just can't leave kids to raise themselves.
No really, I've watched this happen time and time and time again. I've literally watched kids tell the adults around them what they will and won't do. And I'm telling you this right now, it doesn't work.
Mostly for the obvious reason that they are kids.
They have no concept of the big picture.
But the conversations that I have been having recently, are disturbing on a soul level. Because I am literally seeing the map of their future, and it's painful to watch. I'm seeing the slide of misplaced children being led to pray at the altar of alcohol, recreational drugs and easy sex.
Kids being uplifted from one parent, to be given to another family member and then gifted to someone else. Because they're too hard.
Well, no shite Sherlock.
Kids aren't easy. Not even the good ones.
But that's not my child, I hear you say. We are a family. Two parents. We have money.
But are you so sure about that?
Are your kids doing ok at school? Not just academically, but socially? Do you know all your kids friends? Do they even have friends? Do they show behaviours which you know are not ok? Do you know who they are talking to online? Do you know what's going on on Facebook? Do your children have more than one Facebook account? One for you, one for their friends. Do your children bring their friends home? Are there rules in your home? Do you spend quality time with your kids? Is the word No! not just spoken but practiced? What are your kids doing if you're out? Or having a wine? Or sorting out your own social life?
These sound like real old fashioned values, but I promise you they are not.
They're the ones that are keeping, and will continue to keep, your kids safe. And you may not like what I'm saying, but it doesn't make it any less true.
There is a map which shows you when you son or daughter, is sliding off the path. When their journey forward, starts going wrong.
And forgive me for what I am about to say, but it starts with you.
If your child is spitting or kicking or hitting at 3 and you let this go. The little darling will most probably be doing this at 5. Or 7. Or 10. It's not cute at 3 and it's sure as little green apples, isn't apealing at 15.
If your child tells you what he (or she) will or won't eat at 5. You have one fat child at 13.
I know, that's not very PC and very, very rude.
Why yes, yes it is. But I'm getting heart sore seeing kids fat, depressed and/or with behaviour issues directly relating to the crap you're feeding your kids or your non-rules. And while I'm on my high horse today, they're learning these behaviours from you.
I will accept that you are not always showing them per se but a lot of times you are, and with behaviour, well, everytime you let it go you are rewarding bad behaviour.
And every time you know there is something wrong with your child and don't get external help, you're becoming part of the problem.
It's not ok to say, Well, I tried but...
There is no But... there is just you.
You are their road map. The light that guides their path and the road they follow home.
This stops, and starts, directly, indirectly and everything inbetween, with you.
Wishing you much love and abundance and a truly courageous heart.
T and Spirit