Tania Kettle

'Tis the season to be...

Dating.

Uggh.

I mean, seriously, I love being in a relationship but I absolutely dislike with a passion dating.  Which is why I normally go from single to friendship to full on relationship.  

But anyway, this is not about me.  However, I have been asked a lot of questions recently about how to sort the wheat from the chaff so to speak, so here goes:

1) Make sure you like the guy.

I know, this seems like a no-brainer, right?  Well, yes but no.  

Do you like the way he physically looks?  Shallow at first, I'll agree, but whether you find someone physically attractive is important and you need that.  I love a man who is tall, broad shouldered and has abs.  I know!  Is it a deal breaker if he doesn't have these?  No.  But in a perfect world, I prefer them.  And he has to have nice eyes.  

But two things which are deal breakers for me:

A man's smell.  No, not the aftershave he wears but the smell that he carries and... 

His voice.  That's a huge one.  I've spoken to men on the phone and gone to myself, Don't waste your time, there's no chance.  However, I could be in two minds about a man and hear his voice and go, Ok, that's hot.

2) Don't judge a man on money.

If I've said this once, I've said it a thousand times.  Money comes and goes. Look for the qualities that money can't buy.  For me a deal breaker is whether a man has my back or not.  And forgive me for what I'm about to say, I couldn't care less whether I'm in the right or not.  I need to know that my man has my back.  That if I ever get myself into a situation which is a bit dodgy (and this happens more than I am comfortable with) I need to know, without looking, that he's there.

3) Choose a man who's secure in himself.

Emotionally and intimately, baby.  I have a belief system which roughly works like this, I will do what I want, when I want, how I want and with whomever I please.  

This, for obvious reasons, can cause some issues.  

But to be fair, when I say with whom I please, I'm not talking about shagging around.  Whether I want to spend 15 minutes with a male friend or 8 hours then that is my right and I will not be questioned, bullied or generally harrassed about it.  

And remember, you wanted to be with me because you loved the way I looked, spoke, acted and lived.  So don't you be trying to change me now.

4) Don't be precious about sex.

Now this doesn't mean flashing yourself round because honestly, I find there are few things more boring than having sex with a random stranger, with no feelings.  Or a friends with benefits scenario, which to me just means having all the benefits of a relationship with a get out of jail free card when a better offer comes along.

However, once you're in a relationship, have fun.  Experiment.  Laugh. Love the life.  Sex is one of life's greatest joys.

And last but not least, 

5) Don't be afraid.

There's lots of fish in the sea.  

I will say that there's not that many amazing guys that you can have an awesome relationship/chemistry with, but don't be an idiot.  If he's not texting, calling or physically stepping forward, then don't make excuses for him.

There's a whole world of difference between a man liking you and wanting to be with you vs the man who actually does something about being with you.

Huge difference.

So, that's it my friend, Dating and loving with the Divine Miss T.

Wishing you much love and abundance and a truly courageous heart.

T and Spirit

xx