30 Sec's on....
I've just had a really awesome few hours.
But it didn't start out that way.
Actually, that's not true. I woke up fine-ish but the longer I was up, the more I realized the Energy was tilted. Like not centred. Nothing I could put my finger on, just off.
So, I did a few changes to my day thinking that might change things round but no, it was still off. I checked in with my hormones and they all seemed fine. I checked in with my friends and son and they were all fine, my horses were all good (mostly) but the Energy was still, well, wrong.
At that point I realized that Spirit were trying to check in with me, so I cleared my day, made a cuppa and went into the Silence. Then I looked at everything which had happened over the last 7 days.
Every. Little. Thing.
And nothing large came up, however, the more I looked back on the past week, the more I saw quite a few little things had come up.
Just stuff. From different avenues. And all had challenged my belief system. Things that at the time I had said, Oh wow, I'm so not ok with that.
But wait...then I had put my wants, needs, desires and boundaries to one side and tried to be a cool, calm, relaxed and chilled out, Just because it's not my way, doesn't make it wrong, little enchilada.
But then, when I really started thinking back, I remembered a Tarot Card which had kept coming up around me this week.
The Queen of Cups from The Rider-Waite Tarot Deck.
Normally, I work with the Morgan Greer Tarot pack...
However, that's neither here nor there, they are both the Queen of Cups.
And the Queen of Cups, although older and is not at first appearances, beautiful has a unique calmness and serenity that draws you in. I mean, yes, she is a woman of substance but when you look deeper you see...
The Queen of Cups real currency is the twisting and turning, complex layers and depths of the emotional and Spiritual realm that she deals with.
Because she lives, works and loves on the edge of human consciousness. Touching and tasting, weaving and creating, the colours and textures of feelings and emotions.
I mean, seriously, normally I love this card.
However, everytime I have seen Miss Queen of Cups over the past week, it has annoyed me.
Like, really annoyed me.
And it was only when I went into the Silence today that I realized why. The Queen of Cups (Rider-Waite) is a woman of deep, soul substance looking at a little tin man she holds in the palm of her hand.
Wait. That's supposed to be a cup...
And Boom! there we are.
The Queen of Cups is always holding a cup because it signifies the holding of deep emotions and Divine love. Feelings which aren't just superficial or based on looks or money but a deep, look into the soul then touch it, kind of love.
But what I had started seeing was not the deep love that she holds but the tin man of base Energy which she had been presented with.
And that's what had been upsetting me everytime I had pulled this card. I didn't see a woman full of emotional abundance, swimming in the depths of emotional freedom, deep Spirituality, joy and wisdom. No, no, I saw a woman presented with so much less than what she expected or deserved and she's just sitting there looking, not knowing what to do with it.
Then I realized that with every one of those, It's just a little thing... in the past week, the tin man had come in and romper stomped on my boundaries. Given them a little kick and then looked me straight in the eye and said to me, What's the big deal?
Technically nothing. In reality, everything.
Double ouch, actually.
But once I realized what I was seeing and why I was then able to rebalance, refocus and Boom!
In fact, with just a little tweak, I was able to put my big girl pants on and start sorting stuff out.
Re-defining my boundaries. Re-talking about what was acceptable to me, making some appoinments and generally taking back my power.
I feel amazing...and my Queen of Cups is awesome again.
Happy Monday, baby.
Wishing you much love and abundance and a truly courageous heart.
T and Spirit