30 Sec's on....
Well, this has been a most unpleasant week.
After having the young one home again for six months after he had travelled to far away lands, slaying dragons, rescuing Princesses and well, you get the gist...he's just left again.
And I am not a happy bunny.
Actually, that's not 100% accurate. I'm super happy because he's left to start the second part of his study, but and this is the less than happy, before his last and final part of his study over in Australia.
Where he is planning on calling home.
So, I have spent the last four days randomly bursting into tears. And before you ask, No, not the gentle, tears quietly running down my cheek ones rather the full on crying with green snot ones.
Because the young one leaving is a more permanent state this time. He's going into an extremely specialized field and Spirit have claimed him to start doing their work. I mean, we always knew this was going to happen, raised by a Psychic to work in the Head Field we were always going to get to this place.
Unfortunately, this place is overseas to do the study that he needs for the qualifications that Spirit want.
And I know that right now he's only going down to Dunedin for a quick year of study but the Energy's different this time because his journey's started. So, this week has been sitting with my grief.
To get to the new beginnings.
To crawl through the sludge of grief of what is right now to what will be. To rearrange things, to shift our perceptions and not just mine but his, to laugh, and cry and talk about what has worked, what hasn't, what could never and what is, and will continue to be.
But in having said this, this has been really interesting because the conversations have all been about our soul stuff. About being brave enough to speak your Truth, to have courage when people disagree with you and how to stand strong.
Actually, do you remember when he decided that he wanted to do Genetic Engineering and wouldn't tell me for 6 months because he thought that I would hit the roof? He was right. I wasn't happy and I had all my friends giving me hugs and asking if I was ok for weeks afterwards.
But when he did finally tell me, we found our way. Not easily, but we did. And our relationship became stronger for that. Anyway, it worked out that he hated it in the end and switched to Neuro Science and Psychology but that's not the point, sh*te got hard and we found a way through it.
We also talked about how loyalty can't be bought and the things you can buy are only things. To not make yourself small. Ever. And that it's not the crossroads that are the turning point in your life but the daily, every day choices that you make that become your life. That to make a decision is hard. Really hard some days. But not making a decision is also a decision.
And to never, ever make, or allow yourself to be given, an ultimatum...or ask anyone's permission for how you feel.
Actually, now I'm thinking about it, if I can push aside the tears then it has been a powerful and empowering week.
It's powerful to look into the shadows of your soul, to drag kicking and screaming your fears, wants, needs and desires into the sun. To give a voice to those things you fear and feed them light.
It's empowering to speak of choices, and actions and the things that happen after those.
And yes, it's good to sit with your soul in grief. To wash away and cleanse, to dig deep and come out the other side.
It's a bast*rd while it's happening though.
Wishing you much love and abundance and a truly courageous heart.
T and Spirit