Tania Kettle

One of my favorite hot topics has raised it's head this week...

Sex.

Well, that's not technically true.  The actual topic has been Dating.  

Then comes the question, How long do you have to wait before you have sex?

So, there's been some crazy conversations this week of Remember when... What about... and all other kind of delicious memories and gypsy folklore.

But anyway, I'll skip to the end bit, the correct answer is 9.

No, wait...let me explain.

I am not Miss Spoil All Your Fun girl but I am in the unusual position of not just having lived a colourful life myself but also watched you live your technicolor dream.   And now with the benefit of (actually) listening to Spirit, age and hindsight this is what I've learnt:

When women have casual with a guy they can't see.  We as women, don't seem to be able to separate the actual physical act from the emotional connection.  So, we can't look at an unsuitable (read into that someone hot but ultimately, someone we don't want long-term) guy, shag him and walk away.  Instead, we see an unsuitable guy, shag him, stop seeing him as unsuitable, make excuses for his unsuitability, get hurt.

Which doesn't make any sense to me because he was totally unsuitable to start with so we should never, ever have got hurt.

But anyway, enough of that.  Back to 9.

Seeing a guy 9 times on 9 different days separates the men from the kids. Because seeing someone that many times tells you everything important you need to know about him.  Is he on time?  Does he turn up when he says he will?  Does he text just to check in and say Hi, how's your day going? or is it just to confirm a time? Or sextext?  Does he pay?  Does he dress well? Is he funny to be around when sex isn't the end result of your time together?  Is he kind? 

And my big one...Does he speak well of women?

That's really important.  If he refers to women as b*tches, ho's or sl*ts run, honey. Seriously, pick up those Manolo Blahnik stilleto's in your hand and run.

But all jokes aside (actually, I'm not joking about the last one) given a little bit of time a man will tell you exactly who he is, giving you the power to decide whether he's Mr I think I would like to have a relationship with you man or not.  

However, you may decide that you still want to shag him but he's definitely not Mr Long-term, and that's cool, too.  

The answer's still 9 though...and you better put me on speed dial.

Wishing you much love and abundance and a truly courageous heart.

T and Spirit

xx 

ps: Sole refers to undersurface of a peson's foot not to be confused with Soul which refers to the Divine Spiritual Essence of a person.