Horse Sense....




Check out my first fermented Red Cabbage!!

Tastes pretty damn good, and the colour is very cool.

Kind of like a feast for the eyes, as well as nourishment for the Soul.

Love.  Love.  Love.

Hope the bloody Ginger Beer turns out as well.

Made the next lot of Red Cabbage deliciousness as soon as I put original lot into jars, then fridge, but this time added black pepper and ginger.  Well, now I've got the gist of how this works, I want to play round with it. 

And at $10 per cabbage, I sure as shite wasn't throwing the other 2 cabbages out.


A duck, garlic hummus and fermented Red Cabbage wrap.

Best you don't see how I completely murdered the duck. 

Note to self:  Bbq duck does not mean, Completely covered in flames on fire.


I left 15 minutes later from town than I should have, and it took me just shy of 3 hours to get home.

Works out there had been a teensy accident on the motorway and we were gridlocked.

If at any time I had ever thought, and to be fair it never crosses my mind, i will never, ever, ever move back to the city.

In the end I was texting and calling my peeps with products, to leave outside and I would pick up.

And feed out was in the dark, complete with re-stocking of baleage, with the horses calling out, And don't forget the warm stuff!


And by the grace of Spirit, Lils is still living.

How, is beyond me, and she's certainly unable to move freely.  But her will to survive is phenomenal and I'm running with that.


This has been an insane 4 days, lots has happened so I'm just going to write and you can sort everything out on your end.

Lily died.

She ended up having a broken neck.  It wasn't originally broken, but unfortunately, not looking at any rooster in particular, Pat, but I believe when he pounced, what had just been a fracture, broke.

In the end, her injuries were non-sustainable.

Death popped in periodically over the days I worked with her, just checking in.

In the end he just stayed, and was like, This is not living, Tania.

I bloody hate him some days.

But he was right in the end.  I gave her a bath and she couldn't sit up or keep herself straight and he said, It's time. 

Within minutes she had passed.

He's like a friend I have known forever.

And dislike.

But that's not true.  I've spent enough time with him now to have a begrudging respect for him.  And him for me.  

He doesn't always win.  Well, to be fair, he does, but you know, I fight hard and I fight dirty, so I often get months (this time was only 10 days), more than I should.

That is no small feat.

Rest in chikkie Heaven, Lils.  

Love.  Love.  Love.

And then the real crazy shite started happening.

So, remember when I said I had been out and got caught in an accident and was stuck in traffic for over 3 hours?

It was close to where I had brought up Liam.

Didn't think much of it, just you know, an area.

But that day I had picked up my Soy again and it was in a different bag.

I said to him, Is that Organic?

Absolutely.  Exactly what you bought the other day.

I was in a rush so just put it in the car and left.

Got home and it was darkish, so was rushing, but the bag wasn't the same and it didn't have what I expected Organic to have on it.  It had symbols, but not the right ones.

I took a photo of symbols, but then just got on with feeding out and stuff.

Once everything had settled down, what did I find?

This shite was not organic.  Not GMO.   Not anything, actually.  Just shite crap Soy.

The guy had not only lied, but in his shop, he had changed the packaging to say Organic, put up the price, not as much as actual Organic, but enough to make a nice mark up.

Totally fucking illegal no matter which way I look at it.

I was pissed at myself, totally pissed at him (I'll get to that) and losing my shite everywhere.

I also need to deviate here, so just work with me:

Non-GMO soybeans are soybeans that do not have genetic engineering and still have natural properties.

GMO soybeans are imported soybeans, suspected to have negative effects on the human body that are not directly felt but the effects can arise in a few years.

What does Organic mean?

An organic label refers to an organism (plant, crop or food) that has been produced without the aid of chemical or synthetic fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, insecticides, or fungicides. In order to reach the certification standard of organic, items cannot be grown using antibiotics or artificial growth hormones either.

Does organic mean non-GMO?

In order to live up to the stringent organic standards, an item may not be genetically modified. According to USDA, the use of GMOs in organic products is explicitly prohibited in the definition of what organic is. The USDA states, “The use of genetic engineering, or genetically modified organisms (GMOs), is prohibited in organic products. This means an organic farmer can’t plant GMO seeds, an organic cow can’t eat GMO alfalfa or corn, and an organic soup produced can’t use any GMO ingredients.”

The way we grow, produce, process and prepare GMO Soy in the West is criminal. We take something great and then wreck it by altering the genetic structure and then just grinding or perverting the raw ingredient into soy powders, oils, protein isolates or extracts. These modern processing methods fail to remove the anti-nutrients and toxins in soybeans but leave all the toxic and carcinogenic residues created through high temperatures, high pressure, alkali/acid baths & petroleum solvents. 

GMO Soya beans are loaded with pesticides and they contain genes from bacteria that produce a protein that has never been part of the human food supply. The worst soy products are the fractionated products; soy protein isolates (derived from defatted soybeans and containing MSG) and hydrolyzed plant protein. They contain phytates that block mineral absorption and trypsin inhibitors that block proper digestion. Avoid TVP (texturized vegetable protein), soy protein isolates, soybean oil, soymeat, soy infant formula, supplements, soya shakes, soya burgers, soya energy bars, and soya protein powders and fake non-fermented soy sauce, which is just sugar-water with added colouring.

However, this is why everyone thinks Soyabeans are good:

In Japan and Okinawa, a day without eating some soybeans is almost unthinkable. The World Health Organization has confirmed the Japanese have the longest lifespan of any developed country and they eat more soybean foods per capita than any other culture. The Japanese Okinawans have the longest overall life-span on planet earth and they consume more soy foods than anyone else – including the Japanese population! The Okinawans eat 60-120g of good-quality soybeans a day. This compares with 30-50g for Japanese, 10g for Chinese and virtually ZERO for the average westerner. The Okinawans eat a plant-based wholefood diet of traditionally prepared soybean dishes, sweet potato, disease-preventing vegetables, oily fish, garlic, ginger, onions, fresh fruits and tomatoes. The Okinawans eat 8x more tofu than the Western World and 20x more soybeans overall, health is amazing and they live an extraordinarily long time - late 90's and 100's.  

And are active right up to point of death.

Which is where they just kind of wear out.

So now you understand where I stand on Soy.  If you can get the Organic kind, you're ok.

Unless you run into numpety above who lies through his skanky ass.

So then I was onto everybody and anybody that I could think of who could actually supply me Organic.

Which considering how many Natural Health Shops there are, no one could.  

But I checked in with Spirit and they said I could find some, so I kept on looking, texting, emailing, calling, Googling...

And found some.

Out in almost the same area as where I got caught, but closer to where I raised Liam.  In fact, the GPS took me exactly past our old place, which it did not need to do.

So now you and I need to take a journey down Memory lane (I have a feeling this is going to get a bit batshite crazy here, so I'm just going to write it, then leave it).

It wasn't where I first because Professional as I had already started, but it was where I started doing my radio shows, but more than that, it was where I learnt how to be human with a Spiritual Soul.

I met a woman who came to me who said, I get up and sit at the kitchen table every morning, have a coffee and cigarette, and wonder if today is the day that I'm going to kill myself and the kids.

I ran into her years later, and she said to me, It turned out ok, I took your advice and never had anymore kids.

I spoke to a young guy who cried and cried and cried when asking me what kind of God killed their two month old baby.

Or what about the very well to do Real Estate guy who told me that I would never own a BMW, while he was doing money laundering, back when it wasn't even a thing.  

Or the hot, wealthy guy who came to me to ask about the Employee who he thought was embezzling and would he get caught.  Liar, liar pants on fire - it was him, yes, he did get caught and no, he did not get jail.

The tons of clients who ran the phone red when the new laws came in re cameras and staff.  Works out a lot of staff helped themselves to extras...

The couple who when one of them had a drink, tried to find the gun they owned to either kill the other one or themselves (depending on the mood).  Thank fuck, we never found the gun.

The young girls who hid their boyfriends from CYPS, so that they could still be round their young kids.

The 12 year old (15 years ago) who was allowed to bus into Auckland city for the weekend with her friends.

That didn't end well.

Or what about the woman whose Intuition screamed NO! to letting her 10 year old son stay overnight at a friends place?

She didn't listen.  He got raped.

That was where I learnt, Energy doesn't lie, and we always Know.

You may not like it, but you Know.

And that you can't change a guy or girl who likes to fuck kiddies.

They're a beast, and they don't change until the day they die.

What about the woman who almost lost her kids, did lose every bit of money she had, and almost got her ass thrown in jail, just because of some guy she couldn't leave alone.  

The people that literally got away with murder.

The people that killed by accident, by not taking the right medication.

The people that we saw, months before their death, having a car accident and dying.

This is where I learnt that things are Destiny Orientated and you really are always in the right place, right time, for you.

But don't confuse that with, Fucked-up-ed-ness free choice.  

That's a world of difference away.

That there really are people who have wanted to kill themselves since forever.  From the time that they were 2 years old.

Which is not the same as Depression, because of a fucked up life and fucked up choices.

No, sir-ee.

Or the guy who stopped off to see me, after he had bought the rope, on his way to the tree.

But I truly believe that sometimes, something goes wrong in the wiring, when some people get re-incarnated.

That their slate is never wiped clean, so are forever trying to get back home.

That Death comes in the form of a person.  Not a physical, reach-out-and-touch person.  But he comes in person form.

And gives you warning.  He doesn't just sneak up on you.  And yes, he comes to take your Soul.

That you really do weigh less after life passes.

And yes, you really do have family (or friends) that Welcome you as you pass over.

And that family is the only thing you should value - and fight to the death for.

The one that you are born into, or create, or make.

That the phrase, Blood is thicker than water actually means the people that stand by you in war and get blood-ed with you, you have a stronger bond with, than the water of the womb.

The babies that lived, and did not, because of Readings.

The men who sent both their wives and mistresses to me to sort it out for them.  That never went well.  I'd get on the phone and yell at them to sort out their own dirty ass mess and to leave me the fuck out of it.

The women who have babies to not their baby daddies.

The women who lost their husbands to their best friends or sisters.

The woman who came to me before she decided to take a second job as an escort.  I don't know that I did so well for her. 

I respect any woman working to raise their kids, in whichever way they can.  But in the end she only looked at guys as money. 

She lost an important part of her Soul.

And what about the drop dead gorgeous, mid- twenties girl, who had literally fucked her way round the world.  New Zealand was her last country, before she flew home to get married and raise babies.

The guy that offered me (almost 30 years ago, so it was massive money then) $1000 to have a threesome with him.

The men who wanted to buy me as a Mistress.

The guy who had his girlfriend, brothers wife, other brothers girlfriend and cousin...and wanted to add me into the Tantric Sex circle.

The guy who told me about the old guy in the pub, who told him how to stop smoking.

And the guy told me, as he stood at my door after his Reading (where I had happily power smoked the whole way through).

And I said to myself, Well, that's a load of old shite, that'll never work... then gave it a go, to prove myself right.

And we saw Black Magick really does exist.  That everything has an equal and opposite force.

That scared the Living bejezus out of me.  But I learnt how to work with Energy you can't see, and how to transcend this physical level that we live in.

How to Astral travel, while keeping myself safe and to skip ahead to give myself a brief screen shot of, Everything is going to be fine.

That time and space and distance and countries are relative. 

But Energy is not. 

It is a constant, living but changeable, Energy.

That Touch is a complete language of it's own, and tells you pretty much everything you need to know.

And Smell is a close second.

And that there is a set of Life Scales.  

They go out, but they also come back in.  Eventually, you will always get what you deserve.

That Karma does exist, and sometimes you're going to wish that it didn't. 

Not for you, but for them.

And the cons.  Jezus, I must be 4th time round by now.  

It's funny, the original con stays the same, it just gets fine tuned and tweaked.

I get disappointed these days.  There's no class to them anymore.  They're quick, cheap and nasty.  

I prefer the old criminals, they had style and a certain chutzpah.

And they understood that unless it directly impacts you or your family, stay the fuck out of it.

Mind your own damn business.

Those were fucking crazy times.

But there were all the other times too.  

The street where I got left on the side of the road, because I had spoken up.  The phone call that started with, Stop the car, just leave her there. 

Or the Euthanasia conversation, which ended the same way.

That's where my, Don't poke the bear phrase came from.   

I used to think that, just before I went, Fuck it...

It never ended well.

The emails I got.  Some were just nasty from clients, I got directed to an Invite to Suicide Yourself site once.  That freaked the fuck out of me for months.  

Some were more personal, I just Googled and know what you are.

The conversations that just started, and stopped, with that good 'ol fashioned, You're mental.

The funny stories that were told of when I was 12, and so shy I couldn't speak.  

And the later ones of, We can't wait until you have a teenager, and we can laugh and laugh and laugh.

Watching me do the 5-hour-round-trips to Cambridge, knowing how much I had to juggle, just to show up.

The, Why don't you get a real job?  

And the months and months and months of dead air, because you didn't like the way I said, Hi!

And as I was driving around, I realized I need to thank you.

I'm strong directly because of you.  I became successful, because I got tunnel vision, and I have a great relationship with my son, because I committed to him. 

And us. 

And I found a backbone.

That little thing, that refuses to give the fuck up. 

You gave me the greatest gifts, and I thank you.



Big kissy hugs


Caps, me (T - she/her), Spirit, Az, Ralph, Chew, Suz, and of course, my beautiful Mumma Bear, Belle and Boo-ba-licious, Pat, Chuck, Rose, Pepper, Shelley, Marmite, Geraldine, Milli, Bessie, Raz, Sugar, Butter, Cookie and Cinammon, and the cows, Mickey, Mikey and Moose.

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