Horse Sense....
So there I am chatting to Mumma at the gate last night and out of the corner of my eye, I see the little one standing on the hill behind.
Now overall, this is not unusual, because the Welcome Paddock has a little hill type thing in it.
But it must of been his Energy I heard, because the next minute he is hurtling down the hill towards Mumma and I.
I thankfully, am standing outside the gate, which worked out perfectly as he galloped, leapt, then literally flew through the air trying to shag Mumma.
Mumma kicked him.
Hard.
So hard I actually heard the air whoosh out of him.
Then there was silence.
I was like, OMFG she's killed him!
Nope. Just winded him.
Mumma then continued on chatting as if nothing had happened.
On a positive note, he was slightly more subdued today.
I can honestly say though, hand on hoof, I have never been more aware of my cycle and when I'm in season, than I am right now.
And boundaries.
Boundaries are my friend.
****
So my body is trying to hold onto weight. It's like, Not letting go...not letting go...not letting go...not letting go...
I'm like, It's ok.
And it is.
The food changes I have made have been fantastic. They have cleared the Senses so much, we're just on a completely different plateau and I couldn't be happier. Extremely helpful as it works out, because we're working really hard here and I need to be on my game.
Finally also got the hang of this Les Mills on Demand.
Absolutely no to Grit - OMFG you have to be a demon to do that, but I love Body Combat. I try for 30 minutes in the morning and just lately also 30 minutes at night. But sometimes only 15 minutes a day and the odd day, not at all. Overall, it's working well though.
Way, way better than walking.
And the young one and I are doing well with our boundaries.
It is a daily work in progress and sometimes I'm really clumsy, but we're getting there.
****
And Mumma's new party trick is to get me at lunchtime.
I'm trying to just stick to two meals a day, as we've changed some things round and overall it's working well. Unless Mumma can catch me at lunch. Then she stands there, looking at me with her beautiful brown, mooshie eyes, I'm hungry...
And then nickers.
Bloody soft touch.
****
The hurt cat seems to be better.
This of course, cannot be validated as he/she refuses to come out.
However, food is gone every day - both biscuits and meat, and he/she is drinking, so not dead.
A quite brilliant end result.
****
Ok, this was a good day/bad day kind of day.
First off, poo catching for Mumma and Boo.
OMFG it took bloody forver. I swear, hand on hoof, Mumma held it in on purpose. She had that, Yeah, nah... look.
Anyway, got poo and it's now down at Vets then on to lab for a look see and type of worm test.
Secondly, Belle has ticks.
Lots and lots and lots of them.
We were a bit worried because they just weren't gettting any better, and then I used my Kawa Kawa balm on her yesterday and today she is noticeably better. Well over 70% better.
I'm hoping for almost 100% tomorrow.
That result is good, but you know what was better?
Yesterday Belle was like, Yeah, I don't think so... When I went to put it on.
Today she was like, Yeah, come over here...wait....I'll come to you.
Thirdly (and this is the not so good) I've lost a chickadee.
No idea how. One minute there were 6. Now there is 5 and I have hunted high and low and cannot see him anywhere. No live chickadee, no dead body chickadee. Nothing.
I'm hoping (but not expecting), him to be there tomorrow.
I can only assume that he was a baby rooster and Pat (the big rooster) took offence to him and did away with him. Sort of like the Godfather.
An unusual day.
****
Definitely no chickadee and it's doing my fucking head in.
Well, c'mon, you know me, so that shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. It's not that the chickadee is dead. I understand that not all chickadee's will go to big chickies. I get that.
What I can't get my head around is that the chickadee just disappeared.
Like, Poof!
Gone.
Not a feather, beak or toe to be found. That's what I can't get. And there is radio silence here. Not one peeps is telling me what happened or where to look.
In fact, I got so paranoid I even checked my tire tread to see whether somehow I had run over him and he was stuck to my tyre.
Nope.
I am now counting chickadees 10 times a day.
****
And Belle's bloody brilliant!
The Kawa Kawa balm worked like a charm.
How? I have no idea. It was literally a last resort. But there you go, I should of tried it first, not last.
And I have to say, on a similar but completely different and totally random way, since December we have just gone from strength to strength to strength here.
I don't know what happened, I don't even think it was one thing I could put my finger on, I just went, I'm pushing against the tide. Trying to prove my way. What would happen if I just said Fuck it, and let go?
And then I did.
No texts, no emails, no giving out emotionally so that peeps felt good.
Nothing.
Best. Thing. Ever.
My horses are thriving. Not just Belle and Boo and Mumma, but also my home ones - the little ones, Caps and Az.
Help comes from all directions and everyone all sits on the better, smarter and more put together way.
I've put more boundaries up yet somehow we are busier, which doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
I miss racing, but to be fair, I'm barely keeping my head above water time wise.
Friendships are flourishing - ones that already have established foundations are deepening, while new ones are slowly starting to begin.
To be fair though, I'm quite hard to get to know on a personal basis. I look as if I am very easy going, and open, but until I know you, I don't share personal stuff and am super protective of my home and horses.
And I'm crap at small talk, so it's 20 million quiet texts, then all of a sudden I'm like, It's all good, we can be friends and then I'm chatting away 19 to the dozen and my home is open to you.
Just put it down to one of my quirks.
****
Ooooohhhh almost forgot, hurt cat still hurt and non-communicative, however, eats biscuits, cat food and drinks, so seems to be getting better.
****
Ah Hell no!
Continuing on the Good day/Bad day vibe...
I woke up and there were 4 chickadees.
One had been eaten in the night.
And I completely freaked out. Then 100% lost the plot when I realized the hurt cat I had been feeding wasn't actually a cat, but a stoat.
And I'd left him dessert with the chickadees.
Oh Jezus Fuck.
Went off to get chicken wire and make a chicken coop from our old playhouse out the back and it took me bloody hours. Anyway, I finally finished and it's looking pretty damn good. Actually, I'm extremely proud of myself.
Chickens, on the other hand, like it, but refuse to hop in it.
Back to drawing board.
On a positive note though, having Googled this stuff, if you can keep your chickadees alive for the first 8 weeks you are a rockstar. Apparently, it's really hard because there are so many predators around. Well, talk about shutting the gate after the horse has bolted.
Anyway, chicken coop done.
But wait...15 minutes after I finished, I counted chickadees and there were 5! Apparently, one had been hiding all along. I bet that one's a bloody rooster.
I poisoned the stoat.
****
Well, this has been an unpleaant 48 hours.
First off, in hindsight, I knew we were going into Chinese New Year (Friday, February 12th) and that it was time to do a huge Spring Clean, and changing of the placement of my big Crystals. Secondly, I should have realized it was Mercury Retrograde. Both of these are biggies. Because I did not put these both in their proper placements - ie: top of my to do list, things started to go a bit crazy.
Then continued.
So chickens were refusing to go into chook house. Then The Big E decided he would start ramming me again. That was not fun and we had not just water (which still works well) but also the rope that I swung round me (like you do with horses) making sure that he respected my boundaries. He did not like that and as I am writing this, he is still sulking.
Then the cows started with their horns. Terrorizing everyone around feed time. I lost my shite with Fenny, and ended up standing on the fence, swinging with all my might the empty feed bucket at her horns every time she tried to nick the horses feed. Well, she has her bloody own!
In the end she was like, Jeez Tarns, calm it down, don't lose your shite...
Then I had not just one, but two conversations that really upset me. They were fine to start with, and then went down the rabbit hole. This is the kind of shite that Mercury Retrograde does, which is why you always know when it is coming. So you don't get blind sided.
Which I did.
Twice.
Which triggered some very, very bad, stuff for me.
I was lucky I recognized this (once I had calmed down and stopped freaking out), and immediately jumped into changing the Energy. Did a huge Spring Clean (did I mention the washing machine had spat the dummy too?), shifted my big Crystals, then headed down to my Spiritual Pools a few hours away.
Which were shut.
Which brings me to another thing...you shouldn't be listening to the Powers that Be who are telling you that our economy is fine. It's not. It's fragile and volatile, and that is one very bad combination.
But anyway, back to what I was talking about, not just my normal Spiritual Pools but also my next choice, the one after that, and my very last option.
I have never known any of them to shut and especially all of them? Unheard of.
So I got back in my car, ordered Thai to take away, and then drove two and a half hours home.
Technically, it was a fail, but it wasn't. It cleared my head, cleaned the Senses and somehow put everything back together.
And in that time, my chickens went into the chook house (admittedly, one chickadee got into the feed bowl and then couldn't get back out - guaranteed that one will be a rooster) and like it, Mumma and Boo's worm count came back 0 even after using the wrong worm paste, and I realized the conversations were actually ok.
That triggers happen. And fragile is ok, as long as I realize the difference between Humpty Dumpty broken, and Butterfly broken.
The horses were also happy to see me home.
Not as much as I was to see them though.
****
So that's been our week:
Really looking forward to Karaka next week. Great work for the Senses and I learn so much with the horses. Doubles up with the Breeders meeting though, so I'll pass on the meeting. I alway avoid peeps while I work so compressed with the Senses. A bit of a shame, but can't be helped.
But to be fair, I have no interest in talking about being a breeder or chatting away about the new in-season-up-and-coming stud muffin. I'm the grass roots kind of girl. I'm in there with the horses, letting them tell me what's, or more importantly, who is working, and talking to the girls and boys who live and love the day-to-day routine of the horses.
The ones who pick up shite, work long hours and get paid pocket money.
However, working on the theory that I'm in the right place at the right time I should still catch up with the peeps I should.
Aside from that, it's been fantastic, batshite crazy and really beautiful here.
When I haven't been diving into the depths of darkness.
Big hugs and horsey kisses from us here, to you there.
Caps, me, Spirit, Az, Ralph, Chew, Suz, the Big E, and of course, my beautiful Mumma Bear, Belle and Little Boo, Pat, Chuck and Lightning and 5 little chickadees.
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