Tania Kettle

Two things happened today that are worth mentioning:

1) I realized I am super protective of both Mumma and Little Boo when people come visiting.  No one and that is, no one touches Boo or comes into Mumma's space.

We have a really good mojo going with chats and stuff and they know that I have their back, and today I realized that I am as protective with Mumma and Little Boo, as Mumma is.

It also brings home to me again, what a special relationship I have with my horses.  I forget that when it's just us.

2) I went in tonight to give Mumma her banana (at almost midnight) and almost tripped over Boo.

He had somehow got separated from Mumma and he was in the Welcome Paddock having a nap and Mumma was over in the big paddock at the top.

To be fair, she could see Boo but even so, it was a bit on the dodge side.  I heav-ed and ho-ed him until he got up, with Mumma growling him, and then walked him down the paddock until he could find his way back to Mumma again.  She was still growling him as I left.

It was good to feel him though, get him up, guide him back.

It was a special kind of magick tonight. 

And yes, Mumma still got her banana.

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So Mumma's pretending that she's just Meh! with the stables.  

I know, go figure, right?

But if by some chance I catch her in the stables, she immediately gets up and pretends she just walked in, and is on her way walking out.

Oddest thing in the Universe.

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And we have the jacket on/jacket off debate happening again.

Well, first off, I don't want Cappy cold.  Then Chew hates being cold. Then I feel bad for Suz, then Ralphy Poo needs one, and then I feel mean and put one on Az.  

I tell you, it's a fucking mission.

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Races last night.

It was a super cool time.  

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Baby races today.

Again, after a bloody tussle about jackets at home.  To be fair though, there's talk of thunderstorms and lightning and 10 degree weather.

Shame it was nice while I was putting on jackets. 

Seemed like a bit of an overkill, and Cappy and Ralphy Poo were not amused.

As I explained to them, No how, no way was I putting on a jacket in the pissing rain, with thunder and lightning overhead.

But anyway, back to the baby races, it was super nice to catch up with horses and humans.

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Oh wait, guess what moi is doing tomorrow?

Going through baby Boo's poo.  Some baling twine has gone suspiciously missing, and I'm pretty sure he's snacked on it.

Although, what I expect to do once I've found it, is beyond me.

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Fireworks here tonight.

Not on our street, a couple of streets over - a few miles away. 

All my big horses and the mini's fine.  Mumma was a little antsy and kept Boo close constantly but overall, everyone was ok. 

I chose not to put Mumma and Boo in the stable with a locked door, thinking that being confined would cause more, not less, stress.  Instead it was kept open as per ususal for them to use, or not, as required.

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And it's absolutely pissing down with rain.  I notice no one is going, No Tarns, I don't want my jacket on...

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Back to the Clair-senses - the only way that I can describe how it is right now, is think of a room with a glass wall divinding it.  Normally, the glass is smokey/hazy so you know there are people on the other side, but you can't see them clearly. 

What happens when I'm eating pure and working so compressed with the Senses, the glass is clear.  There's nothing between us.  

This, on multiple levels, is causing me mucho trouble.

The world works bettter when the glass is murky, because we don't have to trouble ourselves with others.  They say they're fine, we can believe them.  We don't, but we can.  People can say glossy words, and it is so much easier to believe them.  It's possible to believe them.

So what happens when the glass is clear?

I see your words and thoughts in crystal clear clarity.  Like we are having a full on, face to face, only people in the room, conversation.

But not like a polite, feel good conversation but the real, deep and dirty, in your bones, this is what is going on, conversation.

Technically, this is the most awesomest feeling in the world and realistically, it is fantastic.  I've never experienced anything like it.

However, in real human world time, it is causing many, many issues.  In fact, some days I'm standing there and I don't even know where to start.  Because it's not just one person, in one week, or even one day. 

It's constant.  

But I can't give away the Senses, they over ride every other single thing.

Because now that I can do it constantly, I'm not un-doing it for anyone or anything.

It's both the best place I've ever lived, and the worst.

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Boo is one manky ass little bugger today.

And he's cold.

I guess he is getting a bit tired of the rain, thunder and lightning, too.

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So that's been our week:

Can't wait for the bloody motion sensor thingymajig to turn up from America.  In a lot of our video's, I tend to cut off one or both of our heads.  Would be nice not to do that. 

Boo is awesome though - super clever and quick to learn, my big horses are cool and love me (jackets and all) and overall, we are just getting on with our stuff. 

The Energy has calmed down, but if I'm honest, I've just drawn a line in the sand.  I can't change people who take what they haven't earnt.  

So I use my mantra, This is not my business, and these are not my choices a lot.

Ok, ok, so maybe after a few, What the fuck?  Breathe.  Breathe.

But all jokes aside, most of the time we're doing ok, some days though, if I'm being honest, I'm struggling with the Senses.  Really struggling.  Because how do you see someone in trouble, deep soul trouble, and still turn your back and walk away.  Because it is not your journey and not your choices.

That's hard.

But no matter which way I look at it, and how challenging it is for me in the human world, these Senses are magick. 

Absolute, joyful, pure magick. 

Eventually, I will find my way.