So after taking Mares jacket off, we've had some seriously crap weather.
Today being the worst.
I went in to feed her and she walked over (sort of crab like), stopped, then started slooooooooooly backing up towards me.
I backed out of the paddock with the feed buckets and stood there looking to see what was wrong.
I didn't know anything apart from the fact that she wasn't being mean. But she also shouldn't have been backing up to me.
It worked out (eventually), that Mares was being blown about by the wind, was trying to position herself away from the wind, while backing up to her feed bin.
I did, in my defense, give her three feeds today. Morning, lunch and dinner and by teatime she was inviting me to be her wind mare (the mare who stands with her helping her share the wind). I gracefully accepted and we hung out for a bit.
There is something so deeply Spiritual when you touch a mare and her foetus (who is half an inch big as I'm writing this), that I have no words to describe it.
So, Az has got his mojo on.
I know, right? But anyway, there I am feeding out and the next minute, Buzzy boy is glaring at me. Overall, not that impressive because he's always glaring at me for one or another perceived wrong. However, the girls were also like, Tarn... So, I had another look and there my little Azzy baby was eating their food! They had pushed their bowl close to the gate and Azzy baby had squished his snout about, stretched his teeth and pulled the bowl under the gate and was happily chomping away on their feed.
Then there was a bit of a kerfuffle when I decided to take it back and then Az was like, Hey, I was eating that... combined with Buzzy baby and the two girls who were pushing and shoving and like, Tell him he can't do that Tarns!
Then I went to see Mares and she was a little on the muppety side because of the whole storm thing yesterday. Apparently, she doesn't like wind and bad rain. However, I notice she still wanted her groom and touch session. It's all good, I love that Mares and I are learning our language of touch.
And moi is now on restricted calories.
I know! Quelle Horreur!
But you know, needs must. Not one thing passes my lips that I don't know how it will react with me. Whether it is good calories like avocado, egg, blueberries and chocolate or bad calories which will give me a short term fix that lasts about 17 minutes before I'm ravenous again. I've also banned most fried food because I hate to think that the oil I'm eating is playing havoc with my hormones. I'd prefer to cook at home with olive oil and fresh ingredients. And speaking of that, if I have cravings for bread that just won't go away, I make my own. And apart from Cadbury's Dark Milk Crunchy Salted Caramel, I've stopped with the choc as well.
I've got to say, I never thought this would happen with Mares getting preggers but realistically, now I think about it, how could it not?
Alex was good tonight. The Energy was strong, playful and vibrant.
I love playing with Energy like this.
I'm interested to see where things go though as this is the first time I have seen success meet success head on. But in having said that, I'm not being fair to myself. I've had a lot of success now with my horses and the way I work with them, so maybe it's my headspace which has changed. But I don't know whether I am explaining this very well. All I know is that to be able to get up every morning and live my life the way I do with Spirit, my horses and my outside ones, well, every day I give thanks to Spirit for this joyful life.
I never thought my life would work out like this though - to have so much joy and abundance and love. So much love that it overflows.
In this respect, my story has changed, but not the grass roots of it. Deep down there will always be that 15 year old, rebellious, black-clothed-wearing, smoking, chicky babe that goes...
Take me and love me in this whole and complete way, or don't take me at all.
On another completely different note, cutie pie got fired from racing and is now in another home to be rehomed to her forever home.
A brilliant end result.
So, it's Guy Fawkes. Actually, that's not true, it's 3 days before Guy Fawkes. And the fireworks are starting tonight. We're pretty lucky here at home, I'm surrounded by other horsey people and we don't let off fireworks, and the other neighbours for one reason or another also don't.
However, my stable aren't as lucky, so today was super busy shifting horses. I wasn't allowed to shift horses though, it was too windy and the horses were too young. I had kind of got that though, whenever Mr B has a lead in his hand and walks away from me, he's telling me that I'm not to come. Mares hopefully, fingers crossed, should be ok. But this was the first time I actually saw how much work needs to be done around Guy Fawkes. Super impressed.
Hopefully, everyone's all happy and well tomorrow, and continuing through until fireworks stop.
And I'm doing ok with my food.
It's challenging, I won't lie. But since I've (mostly) got my head around this whole preggers thing, I've sort of got it organised.
Breakfast is the biggie. If I can get that sorted, I'm sweet. So, I've mucked around with food and generally it's an egg (scrambled or boiled) and either an avocado (whole with either lemon juice or Apple Cider vinegar) or blueberries. If I don't get it right then I need to stop off for chocolate before I hit the stables. If I've done ok then I can, with a bit of effort, do all my stable stuff and not munch out on crap.
90% of my food intake is fresh veges, fruit, eggs, little bit of salmon or meat, some crackers and of course, chocolate. But I'm not going to lie, I count calories.
All the freaking time.
Frankly, I can only see good things coming out of this though. Already, my hair is feeling amazing, my skin's good and well, seriously, how can you possibly get any bad stuff eating like this?
And it's made the Clair-senses so clear. It's awesome.
The main thing though has been getting my head straight.
So, that's been our week: I loved it. I love working with Mares, that deepness that transcends species. I would do everything a thousand times over to be able to do this.
Much love my friends, and of course, my humans.
Caps, me, Spirit, Az, Ralph, Chew, Suzie Q, Peanut, Buzzy boy, Fenny +1, Flash +1 and of course, my darling Mares +1.
* And I'm piling into Apple Cider Vinegar. I use about 1/5 in a cup, fill with water and drink. Once, possibly twice a day.
** Because the weather's so crap Mares is on two feed buckets, 3x a day. She always has two buckets because it allows me to see what food/vitamin/minerals she's eating and what she needs more or less of.
*** And I love roasted cauliflower with olive oil, cumin, paprika, salt and black pepper with a squeeze of lemon juice maybe and/or with my homemade garlic humus once it's cooked. It could quite possibly, be the most delicious thing I've ever eaten.
**** And some sad news today. With all the best intent, and action, that was possible to secure and keep the horses safe, one of our little fillies still spooked when the fireworks started, ran into the fence and died before anyone could get to her.
***** So I tried to hide the baleage from Caps today.
No, not because I'm being mean but rather he's in good nick and doesn't need it. But that bl**dy bull, everytime I take him off baleage he starts looking like a starving Ethiopian. So I tried to sneak the baleage into our home. Which worked for about 30 seconds, before Caps ran up to the house and was standing there looking round hopefully.
And the conversation went like this...
Hey T, where's the baleage?
Yes, I saw you drive in and can smell it.
Well...you're looking mighty fine at the moment and the bull...oh never mind, wait here and I'll go get it.
****** And Mares was supposed to have her heart beat scan today and I bailed on it.
Well, I only found out at the last minute, Mr B (who normally leads her) wasn't going to be around, her Energy was high, the wind was higher and just thinking about it took my anxiety levels to uncomfortable levels.
Was it just plain and simple, anxiety?
I don't know, so I can't answer that question. What I do know is that all the horses Energy was high, Mares personal Energy was high, and the wind was also extremely high.
My food has also changed noticeably, which has cleared my Clair-senses. This means I'm working on a higher frequency now but it also means that my body is still adjusting to this new way of being. That I'm still feeling my way.
So overall, this wouldn't have been my perfect day to scan and play round with Mares and given the choice, I would have left Mares alone.
I did have a choice though, so that's what I did.