I'm a size 10!!
I wasn't fitting my shorts so popped down to get some new ones since, well, I wear them when I'm with the horses so I needed some. I bought size 12's, got home, tried everything on again and went, Hang on... and ended up taking them back and getting a size smaller.
I am unbelievably, super proud of myself.
So, right now, I want to do some blessings to say what I'm grateful for:
1) My son, who tweaked my food and encouraged me to look at things from another angle and who listened when I spoke, tweaked his thinking and met me half way with chocolate.
2) The horses. Talking with them has put my soul where it should be and this was the final push of soul in balance vs physical body in balance.
3) Spirit. Yah! Spirit who consistently stood, and continue to stand, next to me. Poking, prodding and pushing me to try harder, acheive better, go one step further...
Missy got her game on today.
There we are doing our thing and Hello! she up and gives me a slap with her tail.
I'm like, What did you just do? and then I gave her a growl. I'm not a stupid human, I know what you just did and I'm not putting up with this. You are not to give me a slap just because you want to go do something else. I am not a foal nor am I stupid.
More silence while we both glared at each other.
Ok, ok, keep your hair on. I'm sorry...Jeez...
And after ruffled feathers were all smoothed over we went off and did stuff again. But tail slapping is a huge no no for me. It is totally disrespectful and annoys the cr*p out of me. Mostly because humans don't think it's a big deal, that horses are just brushing off flies or some such stuff, which is a total lie.
They're giving you a slap. A very well timed, well aimed and generally thought provoking (on their part) action.
Because you're being an a**hole.
Or they're bored, you're annoying them or they think you're stupid.
Today Missy thought I was a bit annoying. That could be true. However, we need to learn things and learn them together.
I bet you're going to be thinking twice the next time your horse gives you a bit of a wallop with their tail though...
You've got to love Missy though, that baby's got game.
Ok, so was at the park last night. Super cool, had a change in plans so went with my stable family and it was fabulous. Really busy, so I have a new respect for exactly how hard everyone works. It was really interesting though because I had to work quite hard to keep my centre. My peeps are fine and my horses are all great but some shadow-ey, past pattern-ey, toxic thought popped up and said, Fit in with everyone else if you want to be happy.
WTF?! Where did that come from?
And is really f*ked up because:
a) I am happy and
b) I don't want to. I like who I am, the horses love me, my peeps are all good to me and for me, I have the balance right.
But it was really interesting to realize that I'm actually not very conservative. I know, who would have thought? But seriously, I think I'm quite normal and then Boom! I'm like, Ok...I am so not conservative. I walk to the beat of my own drum. Which is kind of weird. But I'm super happy at the moment, life is in balance (at this exact moment that I'm writing this) so I'm just putting this down to old, past pattern, full moon crazy shadow history which loves the, Be like everyone else and don't rock the boat theory.
Which is cr*p.
C. R. A. P.
Be yourself. Speak your Truth. Live in peace with Spirit and love, love, love and love. The person you are, the family (either blood or chosen) you are blessed with, the friends that surround you and live bigger not smaller.
Don't. Play. Small.
Happy Full Moon.
So, I went to Taranaki today and it went like this...
Yesterday I was flicking through Trade Me for horses and saw a couple I liked - 2 foals , 2 miniature horses and 1 Welsh. Sent emails and thought nothing more of it, not expecting to hear back. And then, Boom! I had one email back saying they would be happy to talk to me but the little minature missy had a few issues. Excellent! Just my cup of tea. Anyway, a few emails back and forth and there I was the proud owner of a new miniature missy. Awesome! Then I got sent the address.
Wait...I don't recognize that area. Checked the map for Waikato and definitely not in Waikato. Then Googled it and Hello! I'm heading to Taranaki.
Ok, well, not what I expected but I'm up for a drive. Wasn't expecting 4 hours down (4 hours 9 minutes if you want to be pedantic) and then 4 hours back but you know, that's what was happening.
Woke up the next morning (today) and I completely freaked out and wanted to cancel. I didn't want to drive almost 9 hours straight. Spirit were like, There, there, go back and have a bit more sleep. So, I rolled over thinking that was all done and I would cancel the deal after a few more hours sleep. Woke up at 7am and Spirit were like, Feeling better? Yes... Made my bed, fed out and then started thinking about how nice it would be to have a drive. No, no, I do not want a long drive. So, had a shower and while I am soaping and watering, the thought of how nice a drive would be kept popping in. No! No! I Started blow drying my hair looking out to the blue sky and Boom! I'm like grabbing my jacket, car keys and heading to Taranaki.
And I loved every bit of it.
The drive was amazing, I love the coast and it was so easy. I re-visited places I hadn't been in ages, had the space to clear my thoughts and it was beautiful. I get down to Missy and she's not keen on being caught, leading, floating etc. She gets on but let's just say she's not a happy bunny. But Spirit have said she is coming home so home she's coming. But the weird thing is, the longer she's in the float the happier she is. I stop periodically to say, Hi! and check she's ok and she's just getting better. She's one cool banana by the time we get home. I show her round the place, she's super interested, she meets Caps, Az, Ralph and Chew and sees the calves from a distance. Everyone is happy to meet. She's in a paddock by herself tonight just to get her bearings before I wash and de-worm tomorrow. Actually, she's either completely wormy or preggers. I'll worm her and see what comes out. She also needs a new name, it's a new life and I don't like her previous names.
It's really interesting though that I've been offered horses down in Taranaki before and gone, It's too far, I can't do it in a day yet I got up this morning, chilled out, did my thing, left at 8am and both the trip down and back was easy as. I can easily do it in a day and wouldn't hesitate to do it again. The trip gave me clarity - surprisingly, not in the way that I expected.
Because I've been doing a lot of Starsigns recently it's taken me back on the journey I made. The choices I made, what worked, what didn't, the people that I surrounded myself with and where we are all now. Some have passed, some walked away from the industry, some just walked. But as I've always said, In this industry you see the end result of the work you do and the consequences of what you say, or don't. So, you better have your game on. So, I had like 9 hours to revisit the past. And it was a huge amount of fun. I wouldn't have changed my past for the world. Every success I had and every failure had a point, and ultimately led me to success. Either immediately or longer (in hindsight). But it was really interesting to see what my girls had said then vs what choices I made and what exactly happened. I could see why they said it and I saw why I did or didn't take their advice. But it also made me look at what everyone had said at different times vs what had actually happened in the short term and what ultimately happened long-term. And the one thing that I am set in concrete about is Trust what you know because it has never, ever let me down. Never once.
And I'm totally grateful that I kept knowing there was something else in my journey with Spirit and continued going forward, Yes, this works, no, this doesn't keeping things, throwing away others, moving forward on just a feeling in teensy tiny steps and I'm just so pleased I did, and continue to do.
Now it is just putting everything I have into making sure that I am worthy of working with the Clair-senses each day, to bring my best game. To not only my horses and my outside horses but to you, my human.
Anyway, I've come back feeling 10 foot tall and bullet proof and really positive about everything and if not with a definite 100% sense of direction a very strong sense of purpose.
An excellent, excellent day.
So, that's been our week. Make what you will of it.
* Az was like, Oooooohhhh...you bought me a new toy! Missy (until we find a name - Suzie Q, Roxy, Sky, Skylar, Spirit, Stardust, Aurora) was like, Excuse me, I'm a mare. Let's just say, Missy is not the lowest in the herd, nor even close. Obviously Missy has had this happen before so just cut to the chase today, by-passing ears pinned back or any such pre-warning. Vid is up but if you're easily offended don't watch it.
** My other outside Missy was seriously p*ssed off when I saw her today and was kicking and bucking and generally showing me in no uncertain terms that She. Was. Not. Happy. I understand, but we've got to get a better way of communicating not happy-ness because that scares the sh*te out of me. This is excellent strength of character though and makes me think very, very good things.
*** And guess who's too cool for school to wear a jacket now? Correct. Chew. He's the boo, in love.
**** Everyone's on a diet. Well, not moi because I'm looking quite delicious these days and obviously not Caps because he's a TB and has the metabolism of Superman on speed and Suzie Q is almost perfect, so not her either but it's like that old joke, Those of you who have a job step forward...Charlie, step back. Anyway, it's Chew, Ralph and Az. Chew could do with dropping a few pounds. Az is packing it on because he hoovers everything in sight but it is little (or not so little) Ralph who is now on a regime. Less food (lots less) and we are now going walkies. We are being offered a lot of functions now and I need to get my game up and the little ones need to be as good as they possibly can - not just in the Clair-senses way but also in the peak physical condition way. I'm, (we) are on a mission.
***** We are going through 20 million banana's a week. One for breakfast, a mid afternoon snack, visitors... and we've added celery in. Az (naturally) hoovers it down, the mini's love it but Caps is, Meh...
****** Phone jumped out of my hand and smashed itself to pieces so if you are having trouble getting hold of me blame it on the loan phone which has deleted me from just about everything. And everybody. And then some.
******* I decided on the name Suzie Q because of Creedence Clearwater Revival...I like the way you walk, I like the way you talk...
It's the month of Spirit where the veil between the two worlds is the thinnest so how I got her, the way she is and why she was sent to us has deep Spiritual roots.
Wishing you much love my friends, and of course, my humans.
Caps, me, Spirit, Az, Ralph, Chew, Suzie Q, Buzz, Fenny and Flash