Horse Sense....
So, it works out that Sequoia has decided that she does not wish to participate with me while I have decided that I do wish to participate with her.
And we have a Mexican Stand-off.
But we do have a lot that's working here:
1) Az comes out every day, we play a bit, hang out and he's a joy to be around. The Clair-senses are working beautifully and we've got our mojo.
2) Caps and I are getting our mojo. Him and I go out of the paddock every few days and hang around outside the house. Mostly the blockages are me. I'm here by myself and I worry about things spooking him so I have to take it slow to get my courage up. But that's just silly because he is beautiful and strong and fine. His human door is open and he freely communicates not just with me but with the other horses. He runs the herd with love, respect, discipline and courage.
3) Ralph and Chew come out most days. Chew is his own old soul and we have our own relationship which is both beautiful and weird. Open communication mixed with Meh! Ralph loves me but is kind of sad he doesn't have his own mare. And has a sunburnt nose.
4) And Missy. Well, the tart is under the misguided impression that she can hear what I want, process it and then do what she wants and I'll just go away because she's bigger than me. As I explained to her today it is not the Junk in your Trunk but your Albert Halls that matters. She glared at me.
However, what is also working is:
5) We move two paddocks every night and normally one in the morning. Leadless. All 5 (6 if you count me) of us.
6) We all feed at night. Together. By hand. And everyone is extremely well mannered.
So, all I can hope for is that Sequoia is doing the same thing that every other one of my horses does. They do this weird, Go away! I'm not going to love you and you can't make me! thing which makes me think that it's never going to work between us and then Boom! we have a great relationship and there we are. With love. But it's weird, as I'm writing this she still seems to have trust issues with me and it's like she consistently has one hoof out the door.
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Ok, so this isn't in my head...my horses actually *sigh* at me.
Now, you've heard me talk about this with Caps when I make him move away from the gate and he humps around the place then moves away, turns his back on me and *sighs*. He does it at other times as well to tell me that I am being a bit fussy about things and that there are easier ways of doing things but...I guess *sigh* we can do it your way. I've got used to Caps doing it and he doesn't do it quite as much now.
But then, S.O.B I saw Az do it today!
There we were, we'd had dinner and Az decided that he wanted to go back into paddock where he had been and I was like, No, it's bedtime. He gave me a look, then a smile and then there we were, game on. Because by hook or by crook he was going back into original paddock. So, there we were ducking and diving and dodging and well, shadow dancing which I have to say is great for working with the Clair-senses and then Boom! he'd dodged me and was back in original paddock. S.O.B!!
So, I moved into original paddock and started shoo-ing him back, shadow dancing again and he was playing back but eventually there he was back in right paddock and then I swear, hand on heart, he turns his back on me and *sighs*.
Not quite as impressive as Caps who can also make himself look emotionally wounded, sad and put upon but it was impressive never the less and tells me again that the horses can process and given the opportunity, communicate feelings and emotions when they play with a human.
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Ok, so we have a show tomorrow! I know! Finally. So, we spent most of the day having baths. Az still wishes to be sponge bathed and really, it doesn't do us any harm. We just spend more time together, so it's all good. So, he's clean. Ish. Ok, fine, we're not going to win cleanest horse but you know, we're clean-er. And he's happy. I'm happy and it works out Chew and Ralph are also happy and have decided they're coming to the show tomorrow, too. Well, I have room so I can't see why not. It's just a small show and they'll like the outing. So, they also had baths and everyone has jackets on so at least we turn up clean. Ish.
And I am having second thoughts about putting Sequoia to foal. Not because I don't want a Gypsy because I totally do. And I so want a foal. But what am I going to do with another horse? I would like to say that I would sell him or her once they got to sellable age but, and it's a big one, What if I fall in love with it?
I am a Cancer girl. Which means I fall in love. Easily? No. Often? Even less.
I'm like, Oooohhhh....he's hot! And then within minutes I'm like, Please stop talking to me...
But all jokes aside I do have this really bad habit of going, Nope. This could be good but I'm not interested because...and then list the 20 million reasons why this is a bad idea. Which are all valid and right reasons to say, No.
So, there I am, all good for ages and ages and ages no...no...no...no...because if I don't have one excuse for staying the f*k away then there is another negative one pushing it's way to the front of the line and then one day I wake up and I see.
I see beyond the reasons that laid the groundwork for absolutely not and...
Boom.
F*k.
There I am rocking and rolling, tumbling and falling.
And there's not one thing I can do about it. On a positive note I have had some stunning results because of my way but you know, whenever you have Energy like this there is always the risk that you could have a stunning failure. There is no middle ground.
And that's what I'm worried about with this whole foal thing. I guess what I'm waiting for is my moment. That break in my soul when I go, This could be drop dead, fu*king amazing.
Or walk away.
And I don't know until I get my moment.
But what I am doing differently about the foal this time is talking to people I know and who know me well. Not that their opinion will sway me one way or the other, I mean seriously, I'm still me but rather, I'm recognizing that I don't stand alone and I can talk to people about something I'm planning on doing without being over whelmed by a negative comment and told not to be stupid. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm learning how to share my life before an experience happens instead of presenting everyone with a done deal. It's a slow process though as I'm an extremely private person in my personal life.
However, the Clair-senses are also going amazingly well. We've hit our stride. And my path is working with these senses. Click in Click on. Does a foal fit in with this? Is a foal a desire or a need? Anyway, I'm going up in a few days to see Mr Stud and hope that somewhere between now and when I need to make a decision my path becomes clear. Actually, on a similar but completely different note, remember when I was at Karaka and chose those two horses that I was interested in syndicating with? Well, one of the owners made contact and we're having a meet and greet. Nothing definite but a step in the right direction.
But now I think about it, I wonder if I could sell a foal that hasn't been conceived yet and just look after it for the first little while in his/her life? I could totally do that because I would know it wasn't mine to keep to start with. I could do that. And I could work with the Clair-senses as well. The new owner could also develop a relationship with the young one before he or she left Sequoia. That would be a success in all ways. Oooooohhhhhh...that would be perfect.
Right. Who's interested in getting a half-gypsy foal who is trained in the Clair-senses, raised in a herd and has their horse/human door completely open?
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S.O.B! Just saw Az and his face is all black. From what? No idea. F*k. Too bloody late to do anything about it, we're still going to the show. Ralph's looking gorgeous, happy and hopeful. Chew's, Meh. I'm all dressed in pink and black. Still can't find right bloody bra. Honestly, I think the bloody things packed itself up and moved house.
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What a super cool day!
So, it went like this, I text my little 8 year old's mum and said, Hey, we're going to a horse show does Mr B want to come and take Ralph in the show. It's a small show and should be heaps of fun. Within minutes I got a text back, Yes! So, they met me there and dropped Mr B off. All 3 horses got off the float nicely and fairly clean (or at least not any dirtier than when I had put them on) then I got my second happy surprise of the day. Az has a previous person Mr C.
Mr C has been brought up around trainers all his life, is 11 years old and unbelievably super cool. He's spent a lot of time with Az in the past and it is obvious when you see them together - they glow. It's the most magical thing to see.
But Mr C found himself in the unenviable position of being able to be around Az but couldn't train him how or as often or in the way that he would like because a) he was not his official trainer and b) his age. I have met Mr C previously quite a few times now but when I saw him the other week Spirit gave me a nudge and I gave him the invitation to start being around Az again, spending time talking, communicating and taking Az to shows. They have done one show together in the past in riding class and well, let's just say that Az did not behave himself and was a bit of a show pony. But seriously, how could it have gone any other way? You cannot show a horse without both communication of the Clair-senses and physical training. And to do that you have to be able to work with your horse when you want, how you want and in the way you want with no limitations. And then of course, Az got sold to me and their connection was broken over night. However, I was not aware of the depth of this relationship when I got Az. But Mr C always asked about Az.
Actually, there is a belief system here for some people that when you sell a horse, that's it. You forget about it, he or she is not your business anymore and you just get on with life. Some people I know subscribe to this belief, some don't. I personally, do not agree with this theory. I know that horses have a depth of feeling and emotion that far exceeds what we are aware of as I'm writing this so I like my horses to keep in contact with past people. It brings them peace although that won't be right for Ralph and Chew, obviously. So, I got there and Mr C was raring to go which I was super pleased about. I was planning on showing Az because I like showing Az. He's a super cool and intelligent horse but it was awesome to see Mr C turn up and the two of them show together. It was an Energy that just slid in and fitted together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. And it gave me a crystal clear moment of Spirit and how I like working with them. It was a deeply Spiritual day.
And him and Az had the coolest time. Mr B, my 8 year old and Ralph also had the most awesome day. They hung out together, won ribbons (1st, 3rd and 4th) and it was a joy to see. Mr C got two ribbons (1st and 3rd). Chew hung out with me and for once he didn't have the Meh! instead he was like, I want to go get ribbons! Well, too bloody late, that bus has left the depot, baby. So, him and I watched Ralph and Az. Chew spent the next 3 hours alternatively trying to find a new owner and sulking.
But aside from Chew's I don't want vs I do want it was a super cool day and not just me but Mr C, Mr B and the horses couldn't have been happier. It was a stunning success.
A big hug to Spirit.
* Az was fine getting on float but didn't wish to get back on float to come home after show. Bloody welsh.
** Funniest thing that happened was when we were dropping off Mr B (8 years old) I rounded the corner and came smack bang onto a sign saying Road closed. Landslide. With orange road cones blocking off the road. I stopped the car then asked the young one what other road could I take to get him home and he piped up from the back seat, Dude, that is my road. Just move the cones out of the way.
Wishing you much love my friends, and of course, my humans.
Caps, me, Spirit, Sequoia, Ralph, Chew and Az
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