horse sense.. 12.01.2017 Tania Kettle

Horse Sense....

12 Jan 17

Ok, so I got up today (Friday) and decided I wanted to do a horse show.

Texted Bronte and she was like, I'm off to Taupo for one, I don't think there's any local this week.

Hmmmmm.... I haven't been to Taupo in ages... so I emailed the organiser and she called me within minutes and was like, Yes! Come down.

Well, ok then.

So, we chitchatted about what Az and I might like to enter and came up with some stuff for Saturday and the Welsh section Sunday. I'm not completely sold on Sunday but I'll keep an open mind. I might be ok being round people but then again I might not. It's 50/50 going in but I am with my horses. Or horse. Azzy. So, you know, it might be ok. But we're booked in for it anyway, better to have and not need it than want to be there and can't. So, let's just see how everything goes.

And then we got our game on. Az needed a bath so we spent hours grooming and he is looking awesome. Can I say, 100% perfectly clean? No. But we've done ok. I'm proud of what we're turning up with AND I actually have an outfit. With a jacket. Pink and black. It's cool. I learnt my lesson from the previous show NEVER turn up casual. They say, Caz but that's not what is meant.

And yes, I'm wearing my pink boots. They're super cool and makes the outfit rock. And I love wearing boots. Although I can't for the life of me find my nude coloured bra. I mean, seriously, how many places can the bloody thing live? I can't even blame the young one for dumping it under a clutter of his dirty clothes. I'm assuming I'll find it in about 6 months when I don't need it.

Thank Spirit, Shane could come over for an emergency trim although he did freak me out a bit because I was chatting away about what we were doing and he was like, That's not an A and P show. That's the show for the whole of the North Island. I would like to dis-believe him because Jill the organiser was so friendly and laid back towards me that I am assuming this is a nice, easy show. Not people from the whole of the bloody North Island.

Anyway, come 4am tomorrow Az and I are up and will be ready to leave by 5am and first show thingy at about 9, 9.30. Az and I have a good relationship and that's what I'm working on carrying us through. I'm kind of excited and expect to place though. I would like to say take a win but I have no idea about this actual show so I'm kind of going in blind. Anyhou, not to worry too much, I'll do our normal show procedure of making sure we go about 4th in line so I see what everyone else is doing first.

But I'm really pleased about the way things are going. I'm absolutely stoked that Spirit are working with me like this although I am suprised in some ways. It's like they are going, Just talk. So, I am. I'm talking to the horses lots but I'm also talking to more humans about my way. Sometimes I say to Spirit, People are going to think I'm stupid or weird. Or have mental health issues and Spirit are like, Just talk, it will be fine. So, I'm learning how to talk about the Silence and the Stillness that before I hid. And those that loved, and love me still, also hid by puting a barrier between me and the noises, the people and the loud Energy.

By shielding me from it, not being it.

But the times are changing. People are coming, both old and new and they too, talk of these things.

But it's the horses who have helped me the most. To see the Silence and Stillness for it's true worth and not just be able to live in peace with it but to start sharing that with you.

I've have been very, very lucky.

And I think Sequoia is lonely. I think she wants to do stuff. With me, stuff. I see her watching me with Az and she is, I would like to do that, too... I need to get more organised.

****

One Welsh going free.

Yip, it went that well.

So, I'm up at 4, perky awake, have a shower and stuff and go to load Az. 4.58am.

At 8.55 I gave up.

Correct. My beautiful Az who has loaded perfectly for me 20 million times before, who has also showed other horses how to load, refused. Point blank with a few rears just in case I was a bit thick and didn't realize that he didn't want to. Admitedly, maybe I shouldn't have tried to load in the dark by myself but even so, I corrected that by turning on all outside available lights. I then tried talking, cajoling, moving the feet side to side and then forward - back, the bum loop, talking again and then finally bribery. I did not hit, yell, scream or lose my temper. Although I can understand why people do. I could only hold onto mine because this wasn't important enough to lose our relationship over.

I eventually put him back in his paddock and then made him go to bottom paddock and then shut the gate. Horse time out. Of which by that time there were issues with that as well. However, bottom paddock he eventually went. He needs to know that this is not suitable behaviour and I'm not putting up with it.

However, Az's muppety behaviour aside there is no rhyme or reason to this. Apart from Spirit.

When Spirit say I'm not going then I'm not going and that's that.

I understand this on a rational basis, I live it and I talk about it with you all the time. So, I get it.

But you have no idea how f*ked off about things I am right now. It feels like I'm being punished by Spirit yet I know I'm not and that for reasons not known to me as I'm writing this, I got the best possible end result today. Sucks the Kumara big time, though.

And I've somehow locked myself out of Skype so I can't even long distance, b*tch and whinge to the young one.

Thank Spirit it is only you and me talking, I would be so embarrassed if this got out.

Anyhou, I'm going for my second hot shower of the day (10.11am) because I am hot, sweaty, filthy and have rope burns. Then I'm going to take a nap. Or sulk.

Most probably both.

****

Ok, am feeling way, way better. Nothing like a bit of sunshine to change your headspace and of course, a chat to the horses. Just hung out with the horses and had carrots, a stroke, a pat and a chat. Well, a chat with Caps and Sequoia, Ralph and Chew chatted to me mostly about wanting to come and hang out at the house again and Az and I just hung out, had a few carrots and got our mojo realigned.

Because I realized that Az had started going a bit stressy yesterday and tried to talk to me and instead I had relied on the relationship we have and just poo poohed his stress away. I didn't take the time. Just put him in the outdoor stable with old hay on the floor (it was a b*tch to remove tonight) and left him until I went in this morning in the pitch dark to float him.

And looking back I realized that a lot of the 4 hours (it actually kind of flew by) we did lots of other stuff. Moving feet, doing some grooming etc and lots of times he was going to me, Look! I'm really good, I'm doing what you ask. And I didn't hear. Actually, that's a lie. I did and said, Hey, that's really great what you're doing, now we're getting on the float.

In fact, now I think about it, it's almost like he was worried I would take him away and not bring him back. That he wouldn't have his friends and family anymore. I can kind of understand that though, I am his third owner and 6th person (that I know of) he has lived with in 4 years. But now I think about it, this could also be the cause of his water issues.

Have a bath, go in float, new home.

Actually, now I think about it I wouldn't have a bath, either. Or put one hoof on a float ever again.

Through lack of knowledge I have been careless with his emotions.

Now I know where I mucked up though, I know how to fix it. I'll hang out with him again tomorrow and start proving how safe he is with me. Our relationship is valuable and worth taking the time to build. And apart from loving being with such an intelligent horse there's also a part of me that goes, There's nowhere else in the world he wants to be. He's happy with me. I am enough.

That's powerful and empowering, baby.

* I think Chew's older than 4. Az is 4 and Missy is 5 and they are not mature. Funny, great personalities, exciting and clever definitely, but not mature. I think Chews fooled everyone because of his size and he looks so cute. That we have fallen into the trap of thinking because he is small he's young and I don't think that's true. I think he's about 8 or 9. He processes information, then does exactly what he pleases but his maturity when he's breaking the rules is of an older horse.

And he's not happy with me. I've tethered him at the house during the day while letting Ralph run free which is driving him nuts. Ralph is loving it though. He wanders round, almost up on the deck but not quite, follows me round the place and today was walking with Az and me.

** And on the subject of weird, I found out today Thames races which cancelled on me last week, rescheduled to today as I found out tonight. As I've said before, when Spirit say, You are not going... then I'm not going.

This has been a really Spiritual weekend though, it certainly hasn't gone as planned but has been (once I picked up my slightly tarnished and dented ego) a beautifully peaceful and soul connected time. A time when I've had to step back and just be.

And play with magic.

*** Finally heard from the young one. He's been in Brooklyn, New York and Philadelphia.